Another day.. Another load of stress.

Stress now isn't about drama which is nice, its more about college and career paths. Which I know I shouldn't be worrying about just yet, but I am because I don't want to wait until the last minute to get it all figured out. All I know at this point is I am going to ECC when I get out of highschool, that fall after I save up some money, get the minimum stuff I need then transfer over to a university. *sighs* A want a science major, yet I want an arts major. Forensics vs. Acting/dancing and the rest of shakespeareian arts. My GPA needs to go up so my energy is definatley going into school next year not all of this drama. I was told something today.. and it just kinda made me look at things differently. I was told how awesome and wonderful and pleasant I was just to talk to when I didn't worry about drama when I didn't let it affect me. Friendships are going to change, I can promise everyone that. No longer will I value a phone call over homework... unless its your really upset..or you NEED not want..NEED to talk to me.I don't want to be this far down hill anymore. Drama is being shut out of my life. I will deal with it with one resolution not to talk to them.. once they are done with their hissy fits they can talk to me. I don't care anymore.

Once again my emotions and feelings are called into question. Friendships and how i feel towards people and see if the friendship is really worth while, and the ever popular emotion with me.. the emotion that comes along with boys. My mom made a comment today "Nine/ tenths of your phone calls are from boys" and I just said ya..because well.. I have a total of 3 girls that I consider good friends.. and that I try and keep in touch with. But other then that, they are all guys. if I admit having feelings for someone, I contradict them and being to think I do. I say i'm over someone and everytime i do I feel that i'm not. I'm full of self doubt.. and i'm not gonna do this anymore.. I wanted to get away from guys this summer, and i'm just soo much more wrapped up in them.. I don't know how I keep getting wound up in these situations.. But I am.. and I need to give a few people a phone call and explain everything to them..and let them know that I don't have feelings for them, and I know they have them for me.. but.. its not the same.. *sighs*

One thing to look forward to- Movies with kristen this friday!! Heck yes!!

Love always,
Britt